


How to Save My Life

by Trammel



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (mentions of) Swan Queen, Cuddling, Grey's Anatomy Spoilers, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 13:12:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3811816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trammel/pseuds/Trammel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce doesn't understand why Tony's so upset. It's just a TV show, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Save My Life

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Derek Shepherd, who taught me that not all men are assholes (and to Tony Stark, who taught me that assholes can be precious cinnamon rolls that need to be protected at all costs! ;))  
> Written really quickly and not beta'd. No offense to Shonda Rhimes intended.  
> 

Bruce was half asleep, curled up in his and Tony's bed. He'd heard Tony come in, finally, after who knows how many hours in his workshop, and was waiting for Tony to finish up in the bathroom and come to bed. Bruce always slept better with Tony's arms around him.

He listened to the water running, but then he heard something else that gave him pause. Something that distinctively sounded like a sob.

He was out of bed and at the door to the bathroom in a flash. Tony had been dealing with a lot lately, and Bruce made sure he was always there when Tony needed him.

"Tony? What's wrong?"

Tony was leaning forward, his hands holding him up against the marble sink, tears coursing down his face. He was wearing his usual look of jeans and a band t-shirt, and was barefoot. His hair stuck out in all directions, after all those hours in the workshop and the tears were streaking lines through the dirt and sweat on his face.

Tony didn't answer right away, so Bruce moved slowly forward, to put his hands gently on Tony's shoulders, staying close.

"What is it?" Bruce asked.

"I can't believe she did it," Tony managed to say through his tears. "I mean, there were all the rumors, but I can't believe she actually did it."

"Who? What's happened?" Bruce was usually able to follow Tony's random conversations lacking context, but in this case he was lost.

"Shonda Rhimes. She killed Derek. He's dead." Tony's seemed devastated, but Bruce still had no idea what was going on. Who were these people?

"I don't know who you're talking about honey," Bruce said. The engineer just turned and leaned against him, his tears soaking Bruce's t-shirt.

"Sir seems to be taking a fictional death unusually hard, Dr. Banner." Seeing Bruce's confusion, JARVIS thankfully decided to provide some useful information.

"Fictional?" Bruce held Tony close and began rubbing his back lightly, trying to calm him down. Whatever this was, it wasn't only about something fictional. After all this time, Bruce had learned how to guide Tony into saying things he wanted to say but didn't know how. Bruce just had to figure out what this was really about in order to do that.

"Grey's Anatomy. Derek Shepherd. Apparently Patrick Dempsey chose not to renew his contract and-" JARVIS was explaining, but Tony cut him off.

"And Shonda killed him off! Just killed him off! It's not fair. It's not right!" Tony was almost hyperventilating, and Bruce felt his heart pounding, under the reactor against his chest. This clearly wasn't just about MerDer. He would usually tease Tony about his guilty pleasure TV shows, but this clearly was not the time. He had to understand what was really going on.

"Come on. Come on." He pulled Tony along gently and guided him out into the bedroom.

Bruce sat on the bed and pulled Tony along with him, so Bruce was propped against the headboard, with Tony lying flush against him, Tony's head on his chest.

"You gotta breathe, Tony, please. Take some deep breaths."

Tony nodded against his chest and Bruce heard him taking some shaky breaths. Bruce stroked gently through Tony's hair with one hand and ran the other one slowly up and down Tony's back. Gradually Tony's tears slowed.

After a while, he spoke again. "It's not right." Tony said, a bit more calmly.

"You're right." Bruce kept stroking Tony's hair softly, hoping it was a soothing gesture.

"Eleven years. Eleven. And Meredith - she - she did all the work. All the work. She was all dark and twisty and she worked so hard to become a good person and be in a relationship - a real relationship, and she did it. They did it. They made it work."

Ok, now they were getting somewhere. Bruce was starting to understand this.

Tony had worked really really hard after Afghanistan. First with Pepper, and now with Bruce. Trying to be a "good person" even though, even after all Tony had done he couldn't really see himself that way. Working hard to be in relationships. In a month it would actually be his two-year anniversary with Bruce.

Tony raised his head to look at Bruce, those chocolate eyes still tearing a bit. "She worked so hard. So hard."

"I know she did. I know." Bruce reached out and wiped some of those tears away, gently stroking Tony's face.

Tony swallowed, then went on. "And they had problems. They did. They fought a lot, and he left, but then he came back. He came back and they fixed things. Everything was good. Was perfect. And now he's just gone. It's not right." Tony pressed his face against Bruce's chest again, his arms going around Bruce and squeezing him hard. Bruce rubbed his back slowly.

They were getting to the heart of it now. Things hadn't been perfect for him and Tony either. Bruce wasn't exactly a poster child for healthy relationships himself and, especially in the last year, with Tony finally going to rehab, things had been rough. But now Tony had been sober for six months. Six excruciating months for both of them. But he was doing it. He was working so hard.

Bruce pulled him even closer.

"He can't just be gone," Tony gasped out "He can't - they can't - " Tony took a deep breath, seemed to gather himself, and pulled back enough to look Bruce in the eye again.

"You can't." His voice was afraid, pleading.

"Can't what?" Bruce asked softly.

"You - you can't get rid of the Other Guy. I know - I _know_ it's a horrible thing to ask you and I have no right. No right at all. But if you get rid of him, you can - they can - " Tony took another shaky breath, "they can get rid of you."

_Oh. That was it._

"And I can't - I can't do this-" Tony gestured randomly around the room, trying to indicate _what?_ "Can't do this. Life. Everything. Without you. I can't."

"Tony," Bruce felt tears behind his eyes now. "I can't either. Not without you."

Then Tony was kissing him, and Bruce didn't care that he hadn't showered, that his lips tasted of sweat and tears. Bruce just kissed him back and held him close.

After a while, Tony settled back down against Bruce's chest, sighing.

"I don't want to get rid of him anymore. Not really. I want to understand him better. Get better control over him. Better communication with him. I don't - it's not fun to deal with him, but if I didn't have him, I couldn't protect you. I couldn't find you when you go off in your suit saving the world. And, you know, I'll always find you."

Tony let out a small - very small - laugh at that. That stopped Bruce's tears from falling.

"Oh god, tell me you didn't just quote Charming to me."

"What's wrong with Charming?" There were certain TV guilty pleasures they did share.

"Nothing. Charming's hot. It's Snow. She's soooooo annoying. I don't wanna be Snow. You know I like Regina."

"Ok." Bruce placed a soft kiss on Tony's head. "But I'll be Regina. That means you're Emma."

Tony looked up, smiling. It was small but it was there, finally. "No problem. You know red's my color anyway."

"And you look great in tank tops."

Tony chuckled at that, reaching out and grabbing hold of Bruce's hand with his. Bruce just lay there, listening to Tony's breath gradually slow until he was asleep.

"JARVIS?" Bruce whispered, once he was sure the engineer was asleep.

"Yes, Dr. Banner?"

"Can you block Tony's future access to Grey's Anatomy?"

"It will be my pleasure." Bruce could almost hear the smile in JARVIS' voice.

Bruce fell asleep wondering if he could let the Other Guy loose on Shonda Rhimes.


End file.
